I wrote this about four years ago and stand by it now…
HOMOSEXUALITY AND GAY PARENTING
A short time ago I requested topics from my “audience” such as it were and I have received 5 topics thus far with the first on the list being “Homosexuality and gay parenting”. Being neither homosexual nor a gay parent, it wasn’t the easiest topic on the list or the hardest. I do have opinions on the subject and therefore, shall express them. I think of these subjects, the discussion of homosexuality itself is the far bigger issue and then several subtopics including gay parenting will come into play. My opinions are my own; they may differ from what some religions teach us or what society generally dictates. I encourage open discussion but please keep it tasteful and respectful.
Like most of us I think, my positions have evolved. I went to public high school in the seventies and was an athlete, meaning I spent a lot of time in locker rooms and showers in the company of naked boys. There were differing comfort levels with nudity and sexuality, those who tried to secret themselves while changing clothes while others needed no towel to hide. One could notice but not stare but honestly it was not a sexual environment and after a time, comparisons ended and with that a realization that parts are parts. Boy’s told crass jokes about homosexuals using the lingo of the day, in most cases not understanding anything about the acts and lifestyle of which they spoke. This was a learned behavior picked up in the home and from family, friends and peers. Homosexuality was mocked without understanding and the identifiable males were outcasts and their numbers were few. There existed no forum in which to discuss views on homosexuality, simply the community consensus that gay equaled bad. I was 17 when I left my tidy universe where life was simple and left to go to college to further my “education”, which covered far more than the curriculum. As my personal evolution is not really today’s topic. I’ll speed it up by saying that when having the opportunity to actually get to know homosexuals and consider them not as a group but as individuals. Much of what I learned was challenged and my views changed along the way. The main consideration that shaped my views was my answer to the question whether being gay is a choice and I come down firmly on the side that generally it is not a choice and people are born that way. I can think of exceptions but I believe the vast majority of gay people have no choice and therefore deal with what life has given them.
It is this view which helps me align my religious views. I was a member of a church fairly recently which taught that homosexuality was a sin. We were encouraged to “hate the sin but love the sinner” and the pastor himself might make an occasional gay joke in private. This was not a subject he dwelled on but it would come up from time to time. Believing as I do that nothing occurs outside of God’s will and that homosexuals exist. I must therefore conclude that homosexual behavior is not a sin but is also part of God’s plan. Being God’s children we are commanded to love them as we are required to love all our “neighbor’s”, in the same way as we love ourselves.
This means that all of the “rights” we bestow on the rest of us should be available to gays as well. This includes the right to work without discrimination in employment, to marry and to raise families. Many gay people came to that realization later in life after they had already parented children. They did not stop being the parents of those children upon discovering or declaring they were gay. In other cases gay couples or singles may wish to adopt children, statistically presumed to be straight. Studies have shown that children raised by gay parents are no more likely to be homosexual than those raised by straight ones. Again because I believe that sexuality is not a choice, I don’t live in fear of gay people raising children. When we look at the number of children waiting for adoption. We should be happy for any qualified parents, going through screening like everyone else, willing to accept the responsibility.
So the question didn’t turn out to be that hard for me after all. I’m sure there are differing opinions. Love to hear what you think!