The Risk In Dating A Writer

I write quite a bit. Most of what I write about is politics, race, and education. But I also have written a romance novel (soon to be published) and write articles about relationships and love. Generally speaking, writers write about subjects they’re familiar with. If you lived your whole life in New York, chances are that will be the setting for your musings. A war correspondent will write about wars. A romance writer will write about romances, the ones he’s familiar with, the ones he’s been in.

When you date a firefighter or a policeman, there are certain risks you’re aware of when undertaking a relationship. If you date a drug dealer, there’s a good chance that you get caught up in their mess before it’s over. It you date a member of the clergy; your behavior will be watched closely. It comes with the territory. When you date a writer, one always searching for material to write about. One day he might write about you!

For the first time I had someone pull back from me a little when they realized they might one day be the subject of conversation. After reading all my Medium pieces about relationships and seeing in print some of the same things I’d said about my past. She said, “I have to watch what I say around you.”

Much to the chagrin of my agent, I try especially hard to consider the people I write about and not to hurt feelings and cause pain. I’m not the one to put people on blast in public for imagined slights and detail break-ups like its everyone’s business. I try to write about people anonymously. My children read my pieces (if they’re not too long) and I probably give too much consideration as to what they’ll think along with any people I write about.

It gets a little difficult if I write about my college years because through the magic of social media, I’m friends with hundreds of people I went to school with long ago who all have long memories. One writer friend seems to only date people who aren’t on Facebook, lest they see the play-by-play of their relationship show up in their newsfeed.

So, let me issue this disclaimer:

I, William Spivey will do my utmost to respect anyone I may be in a relationship with in my writings. I will never call you out by name for any action good or bad without express consent. I do however, reserve the right to recapture experiences in my writings and you may recognize yourself in blog pieces or in characters in a novel.

If You Think Being President Ages You… Try Being In Jail

It’s been well documented that being President of the United States rapidly ages the office holder. The never-ending responsibility, the pressure, loss of sleep. None have escaped the toll that four or eight years as President takes on a person. Barack Obama may have cracked a bit less than his predecessors but the evidence is still clear.

There’s another kind of episode that will take a toll, especially for one ill-suited for the experience. Going to jail. Donald Trump wouldn’t do well in jail. When you realize he thinks of the White House as, “a dump.” He can’t possibly feel good about any of our Federal Prisons. The good news is that it will cost us less to protect him there than at Trump Tower, Mar-a-Lago, or any of his other estates.

Photo: tw2sl.com

We know from watching celebrities that have preceded him, he’ll be unable to use his orange dye and make-up which allows him to pass for 70 now, (he’s 71). On the positive side for Donald, he’ll probably lose weight by being placed on a strict diet although I don’t picture him making use of the exercise area in “the yard.”

Photo: dailymail.co.uk

No U.S. President has ever gone to jail before. There is the precedent of Ford pardoning Nixon to prevent that possibility, “for the good of the nation.” If Trump is found to have conspired with an enemy power to influence our elections? If he’s found to have willfully laundered money from the Russian mob? An example must be set. He must go to prison!

The bright side is he’ll likely be near his son and many of his loyal acolytes. When George Papadopoulos was charged with having lied to the FBI it must have sent shivers down the spines (can the spineless have spines?) of Donald, Jr., Michael Flynn, Jared Kushner, Jeff Sessions, and others who we know have lied to the FBI. Maybe it will be a big reunion of the campaign team, Trump can greet them, “Hey, we’re getting the old gang back together!” None of them will age well.

Featured Photo: twitter.com

The Tell-Tale Tweets

The old man’s obsession began right after the election. Everywhere he went people were talking about Russia. He thought “winning” would make the talk go away. Instead, the voices grew louder, speaking of collusion, a dossier, and a urine-stained mattress. With all the power he possessed, he couldn’t make the voices stop. After a time he came upon a solution, get rid of James Comey. That would make it all stop. He met with Comey and requested his loyalty but Comey did not agree. He asked Comey to publicly proclaim his innocence but Comey would not. The old man wasn’t sleeping well and when he did sleep he had nightmares of losing all he had worked for. It was Comey that would be his undoing. He had people watching Comey for signals he might be ready to attack. The old man would get him first… he must… so he fired him. Bragging to his Russian friends he had made his problems go away. But they did not.

Within hours he realized things had only gotten worse. People were saying he “obstructed justice” and Comey was still out there. Information leaked to the press that could only have come from Comey. His hand-picked Attorney General recused himself, removing the sole barrier from future attacks. Congress was reacting to the leaked information and the little man that replaced Sessions appointed a Special Counsel without telling him, Mueller was the Special Counsel’s name.

The old man was sleeping even less. Wandering the halls of the White House late at night. Calling all his friends, though his calls more frequently were going to voice-mail. The only release he had from this madness was his tweets!

They started slow, talking about “fake news” and “no collusion!” He wanted to fire Mueller too but his worthless aides kept telling him not to. It would only make things worse. The old man’s tweets started coming at a faster pace. They were becoming more deranged, with clarity missing and spelling worse than before. He knew he was out of control but he couldn’t help himself.

Then an announcement came on a Friday that one or more indictments would come on Monday. His tweets became frantic, he blamed Clinton… and Obama. He didn’t know who they would be coming for. Would it be Flynn, Manafort, Kushner, his own son? Would they already be coming for him?

Monday came and there was an early announcement that Manafort and his man Gates were being charged. The old man scoured the charges and saw nothing about Russia. He tweeted, “NO COLLUSION” in all caps. Then a third indictment was announced. Another man, Papadopoulos, had been arrested way back in July. He’d plead guilty and been secretly working with the prosecution. The old man had a rat in his organization. What did he know, what had he learned?

The old man couldn’t take it any more, he has a picture of Mueller he constantly stares at, now thinking of him as he once thought of Comey. He noticed a pale blue, vulture-like eye which appeared to be staring at him. Mueller must be gotten rid of. He thought to himself, “I’ll fire him! Yes, how could that go wrong?

To be continued…

Trump Word For The Day: Indictment(s)

What is an Indictment?

An indictment is a formal accusation against an individual suspected of committing a crime. Indictments are generally only obtained for felony charges. An indictment is used as an alternative to a complaint in a trial court. A complaint is also an accusation against an individual, but the individual generally must have been arrested as a result of probable cause against him before the complaint can be entered.

However, an indictment against an individual can be obtained before any arrest is made. Further, while a complaint is an affidavit signed by the prosecutor, an indictment is the product of sworn testimony, sometimes by several witnesses, and therefore holds more weight in court. Indictments are used most in the federal court system but can be used in the state court system as well.

What this means to Donald Trump?

It means he won’t be getting much sleep while he waits to see who among his people are being indicted. Will it be one of his Campaign Managers? A treasonous General, his son-in-law, or his son? Once you find out who’s charged, you then have to start figuring out what they know about you? Are they so loyal to you that they’ll go to jail in your place? Will they flip on you faster than an IHOP pancake?

This is only the beginning… They’re coming for you Donald and this is but the first act of the play!

Donald Trump: #HimToo

When Mark Halperin went to work on Monday he was riding high. By the end of the week, he’d lost his cable news gigs, had a major book deal canceled along with an HBO miniseries, and been disavowed by friends and employers after several women came out and accused him of sexual harassment.

It began with anonymous allegations reported Wednesday on CNN. Halperin issued a statement denying the specifics of the allegations but then more women came out including one publicly. Halperin responded with a statement, “During this period, I did pursue relationships with women that I worked with, including some junior to me. I now understand from these accounts that my behavior was inappropriate and caused others pain. For that, I am deeply sorry, and I apologize. Under the circumstances, I’m going to take a step back from my day-to-day work while I properly deal with this situation.” In can certainly be disputed that he “stepped back” because he was certainly fired in most cases. He still, of course, must explain all this to the girlfriend he lives with.

This comes on the heels of Harvey Weinstein who has been accused by dozens of women of sexual assault ranging from unwanted touching, forcing them to watch him masturbate, and rape. Weinstein has been fired by the company that bore his name and multiple law enforcement agencies around the globe are looking at possible prosecution. Many of the women that accused him are famous, some because of Weinstein. Some we’ve never heard of and Weinstein had a role in that too. Because of his stature in Hollywood, the spotlight on him has swept up his partners and associates whose behavior is being questioned like Ben and Casey Affleck and others who at least knew and said nothing.

For at least a couple news cycles, bad behavior by men is being highlighted and with some consequences. Congress has threatened investigation, but their own rules require accusers to undergo months of counseling and mediation before filing a lawsuit. If a settlement does take place, it’s paid from a special US Treasury Fund and not the pockets of the accused. Between 1997 and 2014, the Treasury paid settlements to 235 people in the amount of $15.2 million for “workplace violations” including sexual assault and harassment.

The message that corporations, Congress, Hollywood, and others are trying frantically to send to women is that “we hear you!” Sexual harassment and assault are no longer to be accepted and offenders will quickly be dealt with. Roger Ailes, Bill O’Reilly, Mark Halperin, and Harvey Weinstein were rich men with power and were taken down. Bill Cosby will be undergoing a second trial. Things are better now, and everything can go back to normal. We might even believe that if not for that glaring exception, Donald Trump.

To date, Donald Trump has been accused by at least 13 women (and one 13-year-old child) of sexual harassment and even rape. His money and power have apparently been enough to ward off his critics. His business relationships with people like Mark Burnett who before being recently named President of the MGM Television and Digital Group, was the Executive Producer for Trump’s, “The Apprentice.” Several people have reported taped incidents while on the set of Trump engaging in boorish behavior and harassing women. Burnett refuses to release the tapes, so we’re left with the tape we know exists where Trump admits to sexual assault and his ability to, “grab women in the pussy” because he’s a star.

Twitter has a hashtag trending called, #HimToo where women are calling out men who have abused them and for various reasons felt they could say nothing. For those adding names to the list. Don’t forget Donald Trump, for if he’s allowed to exist, others will remain as well. There are things we can do if you aren’t willing to accept Donald Trump bragging about his abuse with no penalty and others who have abused their power to assault women. Pressure can be applied to Burnett. MGM Studios and NBC to release the Trump tapes. We can demand Congress update it’s 1995 rules that protect themselves as opposed to the women (and boys) who need protection from them. We can never again elect a known predator to any office. And we can name Trump and others for what they are, #HimToo!

The Breeding Farms: What America Doesn’t Want You To Know

View at Medium.com

rica’s Breeding Farms: What History Books Don’t Want You to Know

View at Medium.com

View at Medium.com

What If Trump Chopped Down The Cherry Tree?

There is a myth when George Washington was six-years-old he received a gift of a hatchet from his father. Trying out his new hatchet, he chopped on and severely damaged a cherry tree on the plantation. George’s father confronted him and George said, “Father I cannot tell a lie, I did cut it with my hatchet!” George’s father embraced him, George’s honesty being worth far more than the tree. Can you imagine if Donald Trump cut down a cherry tree?

Fred Trump said, “George… come here!”

“Yes, father.”

“I see the cherry tree has been cut down, Did you do it?”

“Why no father, it wasn’t me! A lot of people say it was a slave! I saw hundreds of slaves in New Jersey cheering when the tree fell.”

“You know we’re in Virginia George?”

“It was reported,”

“Where is your hatchet?”

“I gave it to Ben Carson.”

“You gave your hatchet to a slave… why?

“Daddy, you know Ben Carson is free?”

“Hmmph, can’t tell it by me. So where is he?”

“I’ve got some private investigators looking for him and they’re reporting back unbelievable things.”

“Are you sure you’re telling the truth, Donald?”

“Of course father, my friends Sarah, Sean & John Kelly say I always tell the truth.”

“Somebody cut down the tree and I’m going to get to the bottom of it. Who do you think did it?”

“Illegal immigrants?”

“George, we’re all second and third generation, illegal immigrants, except the Indians.”

“They don’t count!”

“True.”

“I’ll be issuing a press conference probably by next Wednesday and you won’t believe the things I’m finding out about the tree.”

“Can’t you tell me now George, I can’t be late to the Klan meeting anymore this month, we have bylaws.”

“Enjoy your meeting father, I’m all over this tree thing… bigly!”

 

The Reality Of She

Being an optimist has its downside. When attracted to someone I often fill in the blanks of all that I don’t know, with what I would like them to be. I endow them with character traits I imagine. I’m not blind to what I see, instead giving credit for qualities not demonstrated. Not necessarily perfect, just perfect for me. As time goes by, I come face to face with the realization that the reality of she isn’t the same as my projections.

On an early date, I took a woman to a public event and an elderly man squeezing past spilled some popcorn on her. She immediately cursed him out for being so stupid. I was horrified. I confess to having little understanding of fabrics and stains and the possibility that butter might ruin an expensive blouse or pair of pants. It’s also possible that I judged her unfairly for falling off my self-created pedestal. It’s certain that I was wrong to demand someone comport themselves in the manner I desire rather than seeing the person for who they are and making decisions based on reality, not fiction.

Pursuing someone because of who you think they are instead of who they are leads to disastrous results. Bob Marley said, “The biggest coward is a man who awakens a woman’s love with no intention of loving her.” Hoping to care for someone isn’t the same thing as actually doing so. I didn’t like the answer when I asked myself if I’ve ever cared more about the chase than in having someone once caught? If I want better I have to do better.

Getting to actually know someone takes time and requires one to put in the hard work of communication. That work isn’t all painful but honest communication will require risk and trust. Not having those conversations will leave room for doubts to grow and fester. It will involve a negotiation with yourself as to what you can honestly accept and what you can’t. You must also give the other person the opportunity to make informed decisions, not choosing for them what they’re entitled to know. Yes there’s a risk that having serious discussions may reveal you aren’t a match after all but isn’t that the point. A minor disappointment is far preferable to major heartbreak.

Accepting someone for who they are means not hoping to change them. Or criticizing down the road how they dress, walk, and talk. If you acknowledge and accept who they are when you are getting to known them. It will eliminate issues later.

This isn’t a perfect world, nor are there perfect people. There are those out there that given the chance can accept you for who you are. You also need to be willing to see them for who they are, without judgment and without projection. There’s no one else to blame for seeing someone in an imaginary light of your own creation.

A House Without Honor

We’ve officially run out of hope there was anyone in the White House with some semblance of honor. None we can trust in discussing the smallest of matters, let alone the big ones. The nation knew what it was getting in Donald Trump, serial cheater with an extensive background of sexual assault and financial bad faith. Liar extraordinaire.

There was some hope that those around him would do better, perhaps appeal to his better self should it exist. We were told he’d assembled an excellent National Security team. Men of honor who would put country first ahead of politics. Flynn, Tillerson, Pompeo, and Mattis. Gen. Mike Flynn lasted 24 days before resigning after reports of undisclosed meetings with Russians and being an undeclared foreign agent for Turkey. Tillerson has presided over the gutting of the State Department and the world sees him as castrated, unable to speak for the President without being overridden by a tweet. Pompeo recently proclaimed the Intelligence Agencies concluded Russia had no impact on the Presidential election when they said no such thing. Mattis initially fought the good fight but soon crumbled. becoming just another sycophant. Pence sold his soul long ago and Sessions is on a one=man tear to bring back mass incarceration and further legalize voter suppression. Carson is a joke!

 

The professional liars that speak for the President; Spicer and Scaramucci are long gone, soulless Sanders misinforms us now with guest appearances on television by Kellyanne. Bannon left but exerts more power on the President and his Party than ever before. Someone has to coordinate with the Neo-Nazis, skinheads, and white supremacists.

They told us Ivanka would be a good influence, promoting women’s issues, child care and protecting dreamers. Having influence on none of those things, she’s settled for her new business deals with China. Her free time is spent on her hidden e-mail account on a private server and talking with her new criminal attorney.

Ivanka Trump

Jared was that bright young man that was our next, best hope. It seems he’s had even more Russian contacts than Flynn and almost as many conflicts of interest as his father-in-law. He hired some of the best criminal defense attorneys in the country, beating the run on criminal lawyers by pretty much the rest of the Administration as they ready themselves for Special Counsel Mueller’s questions. We won’t mention Manafort who didn’t even make it through the campaign before millions in Ukranian cash payments from pro-Putin oligarchs tripped him up. The FBI assures him he’ll be indicted.

It seemed the only honorable person left in the White House was Gen. Kelly. That was before he stood behind the White House podium and lied about a speech by Congresswoman Frederica Wilson. Of course, Sarah Huckabee Sanders stands by the lie which makes it doubly false. He was “stunned” that the Congresswoman, “listened in” to a call from the President to the widow of a fallen Green Beret. This while Kelly and “several others” according to Sanders were listening in when the President made the call.

There is nobody left we can hope to believe about anything. I’m waiting patiently until we get to the stage where we have public testimony in the Russia hearings. Lie then!

 

 

A House Totally Without Honor

We’ve officially run out of hope there was anyone in the White House with some semblance of honor. None we can trust in discussing the smallest of matters, let alone the big ones. The nation knew what it was getting in Donald Trump, serial cheater with an extensive background of sexual assault and financial bad faith. Liar extraordinaire.

There was some hope that those around him would do better, perhaps appeal to his better self should it exist. We were told he’d assembled an excellent National Security team. Men of honor who would put country first ahead of politics. Flynn, Tillerson, Pompeo, and Mattis. Gen. Mike Flynn lasted 24 days before resigning after reports of undisclosed meetings with Russians and being an undeclared foreign agent for Turkey. Tillerson has presided over the gutting of the State Department and the world sees him as castrated, unable to speak for the President without being overridden by a tweet. Pompeo recently proclaimed the Intelligence Agencies concluded Russia had no impact on the Presidential election when they said no such thing. Mattis initially fought the good fight but soon crumbled. becoming just another sycophant.

The professional liars that speak for the President; Spicer and Scaramucci are long gone, soulless Sanders misinforms us now with guest appearances on television by Kellyanne. Bannon left but exerts more power on the President and his Party than ever before. Someone has to coordinate with the Neo-Nazis, skinheads, and white supremacists.

They told us Ivanka would be a good influence, promoting women’s issues, child care and protecting dreamers. Having influence on none of those things, she’s settled for her new business deals with China. Her free time is spent on her hidden e-mail account on a private server and talking with her new criminal attorney.

Jared was that bright young man that was our next, best hope. It seems he’s had even more Russian contacts than Flynn and almost as many conflicts of interest as his father-in-law. He hired some of the best criminal defense attorneys in the country, beating the run on criminal lawyers by pretty much the rest of the Administration as they ready themselves for Special Counsel Mueller’s questions. We won’t mention Manafort who didn’t even make it through the campaign before millions in Ukranian cash payments from pro-Putin oligarchs tripped him up. The FBI assures him he’ll be indicted.

It seemed the only honorable person left in the White House was Gen. Kelly. That was before he stood behind the White House podium and lied about a speech by Congresswoman Frederica Wilson. Of course, Sarah Huckabee Sanders stands by the lie which makes it doubly false. He was “stunned” that the Congresswoman, “listened in” to a call from the President to the widow of a fallen Green Beret. This while Kelly and “several others” according to Sanders were listening in when the President made the call.

 

There is nobody left we can hope to believe about anything. I’m waiting patiently until we get to the stage where we have public testimony in the Russia hearings. Lie then!