I must confess, I glided through the first forty odd years of life without experiencing a bad break-up. I had plenty of relationships that never quite achieved what I hoped for, some that fizzled away and sadly some only for a night which I attribute to immaturity. You don’t have to do something just because you can.
Oh, there was rejection, but generally the kind you equate to walking across a room and asking someone to dance and they say no. It happens, you move on to the next one and put it behind you. It seems that most of the relationships that ended in the first 45 years of my existence (which I guess was all of them). They either never got too far or they ended more or less on my terms or through a mutual decision. I’d never been dumped by someone I love.
Then it happened, and if you’re waiting for all the sordid details you’re going to be disappointed. I will tell you there was one Thanksgiving evening that I was in Richmond, VA on business. Alone in a hotel and realizing I was away from my children, alone, and without the woman I loved. I experienced the kind of brokenness you read about in the Bible where you reflect on your whole life. In desperation I called the woman that had hurt me, she was tied up at the time because… Thanksgiving, but she said she’d call me back, which she did and we talked into the night. Nothing changed with our status and I eventually picked myself back up and got back into the race. Not the next day, week, or month… eventually.
I see people that have dropped out of the race. Whether they never want to experience the pain that often accompanies relationships, or they’ve given up for some other reason. I think it a true thing that the high points that love elicits far exceed the lowest of the low points. But that’s a decision people must make for themselves.
The second verse of the song, “I Hope You Dance” kind of sums it up:
I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Livin’ might mean takin’ chances, but they’re worth takin’
Lovin’ might be a mistake, but it’s worth makin’
Don’t let some Hellbent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to sellin’ out, reconsider
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you dance