How “Shithole Countries” Organized A Trade War And Brought Trump To His Knees

Their covert communications were never intercepted because the CIA, FBI, NSA et. al., were never looking in their direction. The target date was September 1st, late enough in the United States growing season that they’d have no chance to respond. They gave no notice, sending out a tweet on August 31st announcing their 100% export tariffs/duties on all goods from their countries going to the US. Half of America was confused, not recognizing that America even bought goods from those countries, some the same names as those whose children we were separating children from their parents at the border. Guatemala and Honduras were on the list. Peru, Chile, and Mexico participating as well. Costa Rica had joined in along with several African countries. Trump immediately responded with a tweet, “Shithole countrees think they can mess with the US? We don’t need their goods or there people! MAGA!” The countries raised the export taxes to 200%… it was on.

August 31st was a Friday and the announcement came after most in the White House has gone home. Chief of Staff John Kelly was still there, working on the same plan he’d been refining for a year. How to quit and retain his honor if Trump did just “one more thing.” The problem was his honor was lost long ago. He still dreamed though. An aide showed him the tweet and he ignored it to go home for the weekend. He told the aide, “Let someone else worry about it.”

Grocery stores were the first to understand the significance of the export taxes. They were at the end of the US growing season. Much of their fruits and produce was already coming from those countries; cantaloupe, honeydew, watermelons, bananas, grapes, peppers, and more. Jewelers recognized how much of their diamond and gold supply came from Africa. Egyptian Cotton had long been branded as the world’s best, now all these things had tripled in price. The stores all raised their prices at least double while simutaneously cutting their profit margins. They called their trade groups, Congressmen and lobbyists. They demanded action, this cannot stand!

No one in the Administration even knew who to talk to on the other side? Most of their embassies were unstaffed. John Bolton wanted to bomb someone and Mike Pompeo had no contacts. The countries hadn’t even issued any demands or contact information. Their only line of communication was through Twitter where any negotiations would have to be conducted in public. Finally, they picked Jared Kushner to respond with a reply, “What do you want?”

The response came a few hours later, “What is your plan to reunite the families you separated?” This set off some scrambling in the White House and three hours later a meeting with Trump in the Oval Office was held. Trump asked, “So what is our plan?” Sarah Huckabee Sanders said, “Don’t you think it’s a little late to be asking that? This was your idea. You’ve had me saying for three months we know where every child and parent is, do we?” Trump looked at Jeff Sessions, “Do we?” Sessions said, “I think HHS has control of the lists?”  Trump asked, “Where’s Alex Azar?” John Kelly said, “He quit twenty minutes ago, matter of fact, I’m out the door too. I can’t think of a better time.” Kelly turned and left the room, slamming the door behind. Sarah Sanders said, “How am I supposed to explain this to the press?” Trump said, “Just make something up… you always do.”

Across America, grocery prices had gone up an average of 30%, stores which operated on thin margins anyway were now losing money because of their increased shrinkage from throwing away out of date product they miscalculated people would buy at higher prices. Mexican Restaurants were shutting down which got the attention of Homeland Security chief Kirstjen Nielsen and Sr. Advisor Stephen Miller who frequently dined at Mexican restraunts on days they’d been especially cruel to Mexicans and those who looked like them. Unexpectedly, the NRA was hearing from its members that gun sales were way down. It seems even the drug cartels and gangs south of the border had stopped buying guns at gun shows, utilizing the loopholes Congress would never close. Even the drug lords were upset at the way the children were treated at the border and agreed to stop their purchased until this matter was concluded.

The NRA applied pressure to all the members of Congress they owned which was basically all of them, they demanded an immediate end to the export taxes, but no one knew what the countries wanted yet? Mid-terms were approaching and all the backlash was accruing to the Republicans who supported Trump or said nothing when the children started being taken away. The menu at Mar-a-Lago had been decimated, most of the fruit and vegetable dishes were no longer offered along with the some of the steaks. Trophy wives were upset about the lack of diamonds and gold suddenly, they didn’t sign on to be team players, their expectation was they’d get paid, so they cut off their husbands, adding more pressure to the situation.

Trump’s approval rating was down to 18% among all Americans yet surprisingly still hovering at 77% among Republicans. That figure was misleading because over half the party had now left and become Independents or Democrats but the remaining ones were still loyal. Trump himself finally tweeted, “What du you want?” The reply came immediately, “1. Reunification of all the children taken from their parents 2. Removal of any tariffs introduced since you’ve been President 3. Fire Stephen Miller 4. Resign or be Impeached?

All of Congress had read the exchange and internal huddling indicated Impeachment would be no problem, the NRA had given them the green light. Mitch McConnell made the trip to the Oval Office to tell Trump he couldn’t survive an Impeachment vote. Trump… broken and bowed, acknowledged he had no choice and agreed to all the demands. He fired Miller first whom he blamed for all his racist policies, although he’d harbored them himself all his life. The tariffs were renounced by tweet, the process of reuniting children began although the ultimate success was unclear as they had no idea how to connect several of the families. Further negotiations indicated the demand would be considered met after 90% of the families were reunited with clearly outlined plans to keep working on the rest. Talks almost broke down when Trump admitted “a few children had died while in custody.” An agreement was made that no pardons would be issued for the rest of Trump’s term and no future President could pardon Trump or his staff or the export taxes would resume. Also, because Trump often lied, Impeachment proceedings began in the House of Representatives, giving Trump some impetus so he could quit rather than be dragged out.

A month later, people were eating their fruit salads, bananas and the East Coast had pineapple again. Mar-a-Lago was closed and up for sale. It seems for the first time in a while, no Russians were lining up to buy a Trump property. The entire Cabinet resigned along with Trump, Gary Pruitt, and Wilbur Ross were both arrested on the White House steps on a variety of charges. Indictments came down for Erik Prince, Donald Trump Jr, Jared Kushner, Jeff Sessions and since he was no longer President, Donald Trump as well. Contracts were signed with Court TV and The Comedy Channel to televise all the trials. Most of the families were reunited and the US had agreed to provide counseling as needed which was in every case. Because the countries south of the border had learned to utilize each other’s goods and services and not depend on the United States, their economies improved and the US started experiencing negative immigration as people returned to their countries. The cartels and gangs had engaged in discussions with their countries leaders and stopped persecuting the people The cartels went into agribusiness of legal crops. The gangs became the primary work force and took up agriculture somewhat grudgingly. The pay was much less but they had a higher life expectancy so there’s that.

As for Trump himself, he was convicted of multiple financial crimes including money laundering, fraud, insider trading, and FEC violations. Charges were still pending related to Conspiracy but the list of people that have flipped on him included his sons (including Barron), Melania (who revealed her marriage to Trump was fake because she was already married at the time). After Melania testified, she told reporters, “I told you I reaqlly dont care!”  Ivanka and Jared testified against Trump for reduced sentences, it seems she was complicit in everything after all. Trump was sent to a Federal Prison in New Jersey which had a golf course, but part of his sentence was that he not be allowed to play. Mike Pence was also found guilty of gross negligence and conspiracy and forced to resign. Republicans lost both the House and Senate in the mid-terms. Democrats promised to keep a strict rein on new President Mike Pompeo who was a lame duck from the beginning having promised not to run. Paul Ryan had declined to accept the Presidency as he was next in line after Pence, probably because he knew of pending charges against himself. A final tweet was issued from the Twitter account registered to the shithole countries, “Don’t start none won’t be none!”


When Trump Is Ousted… What’s Next?

With new evidence being reported every day. It’s becoming more and more a possibility that collusion between the Trump Campaign and Russia will be proven; and Donald Trump was involved. In the same manner that Republicans have demanded the repeal of Obamacare for years and had no plan when given the chance. It’s possible that those who have wished to see Trump impeached or otherwise evicted. Have no plan for what to do should they get their wish. If Trump is ousted… what next?

What is reported so far includes a witness indicating Trump himself was involved in changing RNC Platform language in favor of Russia in exchange for the release of leaked data intended to help Trump win the election. There are records of real estate transactions where Trump got millions from Russian buyers far above what the market seemed to indicate was reasonable. There are conversations about Congressional investigations subpoenaing his Tax Returns which could reveal Russian ties? I think it more likely it would reveal fraud and possibly like Al Capone. Trump could be convicted of tax evasion instead of the many other crimes he’s likely guilty of. So if and when Trump is ousted. What’s the next step?


I think it very much depends on the manner in which Trump leaves. The three known legal options are Impeachment, invoking the 25th Amendment, and resignation. There also doesn’t seem to be any mechanism for contesting the results of a Presidential election once the Electoral College has voted and the results certified.

If Trump is Impeached. The Impeachment would apply to the President alone. Vice-President Pence would assume the office and the remainder of the Administration would stay intact. Pence could replace any of staff or Cabinet who all serve, “at the will of the President.” Or they could remain.


If the 25th Amendment is utilized because Trump is “unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office.” It would mean that Pence and a majority of existing Cabinet members had usurped control. This leaves Pence still in charge.


If Trump resigned, the long standing plan for succession would give us Mike Pence again as the President. A case could be made that those who opposed Trump and his policies, might find a President Pence to ultimately be a scarier thing. Whereas Trump lacks discipline, Pence would bring a laser-like focus o his duties and would soon fill the legislature with Bills intent on enforcing his moral authority. As Governor of Indiana, he had no problem coming up with discriminatory laws later found Unconstitutional.

I’m not sure there is a clear way for Trump to be deposed that doesn’t escort Mike Pence into the Oval Office. Republicans, perhaps sensing the coming storm, have gone to great lengths to distance Pence from Trump’s Russian connections. We were all told that Gen. Mike Flynn “lied to” Pence, leading to Flynn’s resignation. Isn’t it just as likely that Pence knew? Any thought that Mike Pence never would have lied had he known the truth can be dismissed by watching any of his campaign interviews or the Vice-Presidential Debate.

The case will have to be made that the collusion with Russia was a conspiracy involving most of the top members of the Campaign and now Executive Branch. Surely Bannon knew? Flynn, Sessions, and a couple other former staff members can be linked to Russia. Tillerson has sat idly by while the State Department has been systematically dismantled. All the career staffers with any sense of institutional memory have been let go. If the case for a conspiracy can be proven. Perhaps the case can be made to the Supreme Court to vacate the election results? While the House of Representatives or the Senate can vacate election results in their own respective bodies. Neither can do anything about a Presidential election.

It’s almost certain that Republicans will use every mechanism available to them to see Mike Pence installed as President. It will take a public uproar never before seen to get them to relent. They’ll gladly sacrifice Trump for Pence which only brings them closer to their goals. The one almost certainty is that Trump himself will sing to the high heavens if it would keep him out of prison. He really wouldn’t do very well there.


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